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Incarcerated for a book review?

23 Feb

I read this really awesome book with a mouse on the cover. I mean it wasn’t a real mouse sitting on the cover, because then I would have run away instead. Anyway, I read the thing (the book, not the mouse) and kinda fell for the author; so I Googled and found her here on WordPress and I thought I’d follow her, which now kinda makes it sound like I’m flirting with some kind of restraining order or something, which is making me nervous, when all I really did was leave this comment on her book–because the mouse really did an awesome job–and I’m not really sure now why she’d want to get a restraining order . . .  but, uhm, you can read the comment while I go get in touch with my lawyer just in case . . .

I mean, I really never thought this blogging thing would be so dangerous! Anyway, the comment went something like this:

Your comment is awaiting moderation. (Is this where they stall to call the cops? I’m not sure . . .)

I was just forced to read this book in a college writing class. My advice to you? Think twice before buying this book. Really. Unless you’re totally okay with completely embarrassing yourself laughing until you cry in public. Yes, I did this and it was not pretty. Don’t do it. Also, it’s dangerous: especially if you happen to be eating while you’re reading it … you’d be surprised by the sheer bulk of things you can shoot out of your nose while reading this book: milk, spaghetti, cough drops (yes, plural), small animals you didn’t know you were eating, … really, it’s too risky. Just don’t. One time I was caught laughing, like the I-can’t-stop-laughing type of laughing, in a lobby area I wasn’t supposed to be in anyway, when the security people arrived to investigate. They radioed for a straightjacket with a mere mention of a five-foot metal chicken. My escape was vicariously nothing like what you see in the movies. I don’t want to talk about it. All because of this book. You have been warned. I mean, it’s a chicken named Beyonce … there has to be something illegal here. I’m just saying.

So my lawyer says I really need to stop calling him because in fact I don’t really have a lawyer, and to stop watching movies where everyone has lawyers they can call and why am I all worried about this anyway. He did suggest I talk to a psychiatrist, but I don’t really have faith in ESP when it comes to legal matters, so I kind of ignored that part. I’ll call him again later when he’s in a better mood.

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3 Comments

Posted by on February 23, 2015 in Bloggie Bits, Bookity Bits

 

Tags: , , , , ,

3 responses to “Incarcerated for a book review?

  1. daisy

    February 23, 2015 at 3:49 pm

    ROFLMFAO… speaking of laughing so hard that things (like sunflower seeds) shoot out your nose…. damnit! now i gotta clean up my desk! O.o

    Liked by 1 person

     
  2. janine

    February 23, 2015 at 5:59 pm

    LOL, you are loony (that’s a compliment BTW)

    Liked by 2 people

     
  3. janine

    February 23, 2015 at 6:23 pm

    I love the bloggess (why did google correct that to “bloke”) thank you so much for introducing it to me!
    I’m seriously considering taking welding as a part time course so I can make a giant metal squirrel, with built in nutella dispenser, (I’d call him “topic” but only English people would get that tjoke).

    Liked by 2 people

     

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